Walk and Talk Self Confidence in Divorce


Self-confidence usually suffers when you’re going through a separation or divorce. It will take time and effort but you can boost your self-confidence to a level higher than ever. How to improve your self-confidence? Try the following:

Even if you don’t feel self-confident, act as if you do.

Eventually, if you keep smiling, making eye contact, holding your head high, you’ll believe it… you are a strong, attractive woman that deserves to be respected by an intelligent and capable man.

Be assertive

Being assertive doesn’t mean being obnoxious. It does mean that if you are being treated unfairly, you have to take initiative and rectify the situation. Sometimes, women with children find that they are protective of their children but not protective of themselves. Stand up for yourself – if you don’t, nobody else will, either. If you do have children, they will use you as a role model. If you don’t have children, you still serve as a role model, to other women that can learn from your behavior.

Set a goal and achieve it

You can’t prepare a meal if you don’t have the ingredients organized. In the same manner, you’ll never get where you want to go, if you don’t decide on your target destination. It is not guaranteed that you will achieve every goal that you set for yourself, but you definitely will not achieve a goal that you haven’t identified. In the beginning, set small, realistic and short-term goals. If it helps, write the goal down and paste it on a place where you will see it, everyday. You might also want to try advertising your goal to friends. This way, you’ll have peer pressure to accomplish your task. When you do accomplish your goals, allow yourself to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Eventually, the goals will get bigger and longer-term and you will be able to maintain your focus to achieve them, as well.

Surround yourself with positive people

Do you have a friend who is always putting you down? Maybe she’s not such a good friend after all… it may be that she is experiencing difficult times, and putting you down makes her feel better, but at what cost? It’s not fair to you, and it doesn’t help to alleviate her serious problems. Make an effort to screen out persons that are actively negative, and encourage persons to come into your life, who have a positive outlook on life and the challenges that life can offer.

Practice the “Appreciation Ritual”

Every day, think of 3 items in your life, for which are you thankful. This exercise will direct your mind to the positive aspects of your life which will make you feel happier, and in turn, self-confident.

Make a List of Activities that you Enjoy

You may be surprised to realize that you do not spend your time doing activities that you enjoy. In fact, this exercise is difficult for some women, because they can’t arrive at a list of enjoyable hobbies because all their time is taken caring for other people. Be selfish- in a limited way, of course. Spend some time in an activity which makes you happy, even if you have to plan for this activity a long time in advance.

Try a New Activity

Challenge yourself to try something completely out of the ordinary, whether it’s caporeira dancing/martial arts, photography, or belly dancing. Take your sense of humor to your first class. Trying a new activity can make you feel young, and you may meet some new friends that you would never have met in your “old” circles.

Accept the mistakes in your Life as Learning Lessons

Instead of berating yourself for the mistakes that you have made, accept that while you control your destiny to a large extent, there will always be developments in your life that you cannot control. Furthermore, accept the mistakes that you have made as learning lessons and try to find a positive result. For example, you may have a marriage that has failed but you may have a beautiful, healthy child which resulted from your union. If your husband decided he did not really want to be married within 3 years from the date of your marriage, be thankful that you got rid of him quickly – so you can get on with your life, and meet the Prince Charming that is around the corner.

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