The Divorcee Guide: Learn to Trust your Gut


After undergoing the trauma of separation and divorce, your ability to make decisive decisions may be impaired. Quite simply, you may have lost faith in your intuitive abilities.

Trusting your instinct is an important skill. Women have an innate sense of intuition, and this intuition can assist in all aspects of life, including business. It can, quite literally, protect you and your family as well. Stories abound about women who were successful in avoiding dangerous men or situations because they “… had a bad feeling.”

When women undergo a stressful personal event, their instinctual abilities are often lost. However, there are steps that can be undertaken to re-awaken the intuitive sense.

  • Trust yourself. Trust what your instincts are telling even, if the message is contrary to the advice of an expert. For example, if your family physician tells you that your chest pain and shortness of breath is due to stress in the absence of any appropriate diagnostic testing, and you have a feeling that your symptoms are indicative of something greater than mere stress, push the issue! Request the tests that are needed to confirm a diagnosis. Note, however, that this doesn’t mean you cannot trust the advice of an expert; you should be able to rely upon the experts that you consult in your daily life. However, you are an intelligent, sentient being: you are your best advocate.
  • Connect with your feelings. You have to be in a calm state of mind to experience your feelings in a true way. Therefore, do what you need to do, to expunge any feelings of strong anger or guilt from your consciousness. After all, anger has limited value- it can propel you to take action, but after that, it’s fairly useless and guilt is a wasted emotion.
  • Be alert to your environment. This means getting sufficient sleep, eating healthfully and generally paying attention to what is around you. If your instinctive skills are alive and well, they will “kick in” when needed, so that even if you are not unduly alert to your environment, you will be made aware when something is out of the ordinary.
  • Be thankful for your intellectual abilities to analyze a situation. Heart-felt emotions have their place, as well. However, identify your first feeling “from the gut” about a person, decision, or situation and use that feeling to assist in understanding and dealing with your situation.
  • Even if your intuitive skills are rusty, and you don’t completely trust yourself, act as if you do. Believe in yourself, that you can and will make the decisions that are best for you, in your circumstance.

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