Men, Women, and Infidelity


When it comes to infidelity, men and women think differently. Men usually cheat for superficial reasons. These include the thrill of doing something forbidden and sexual attraction. Women, on the other hand, cheat when there are serious problems in a relationship. They try to fill the void through the affair. Even though there are apparent and general gender-related differences, each individual and each relationship is different and has a different dynamic.

This said, the gender roles concerning infidelity have been changing throughout the years. Traditionally, men are interested in sexual infidelity and women are interested in emotional infidelity. There has always been a greater emotional need or tie when it comes to women and affairs, while men have been cheating primarily for sex. This, however, is changing as more and more men are having emotional affairs, and women are having sexual ones. The reason for this is simple: women’s equality.

Because of this equality, men and women are working side by side in the same office. Thus, they are building friendships that are sometimes transforming into sexual relationships. Given the fact that they are friends first, men are having more of an emotional bond with the women. They are not prostitutes or women they meet on a random night out and never see again. They have already cultivated a friendship with their colleagues; therefore, physical intimacy comes along easily if there is a need for companionship or attention.

Women involved in infidelity, however, feel like they want to enjoy their sexuality. With gender equality and financial freedom, they are feeling liberated. They are increasingly seeking ways to fulfill their sexual needs. If their partners cannot fulfill their desires, they will look elsewhere. It is not only about sex, however. Many women feel like their husbands or partners do not give them enough attention. They feel like their partners are attached to their work, hobbies, and friends, and that there is no place for them. These emotions make people feel disvalued and taken for granted. Thus, when they find someone who makes them feel wanted and special, infidelity can follow.

Women and men also differ in the ways they react to the discovery that their partner is being unfaithful. Women usually get depressed and find ways to blame themselves for their partners’ infidelity. They think that they have not been good wives, or have been inadequate in other ways, and that is why they have a cheating partner. A man, however, usually thinks that his partner cheated on him because he was lacking sexually. Men believe that sexual dissatisfaction makes women cheat. When women are cheated on, they blame themselves and direct their anger inwardly, while men blame other people and direct their anger outwardly.

Regardless of the gender differences, both men and women are capable of cheating. It has devastating effects on a relationship. However, the truth is that over time and with willingness, a couple can learn to overcome the hurt and save their relationship if that is what they truly want.

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