Divorced or not, your friends have mixed experiences about online dating, aka internet dating. One friend shares how wonderful it is; she met her new boyfriend online. Another friend relays horror stories. In any event, your divorce is final and you have decided to engage aka ake the plunge.
Before you begin building a profile on dating site, you should be aware of the Terms of Engagement:
- Personality is important. However, you may never have a chance to impress a man with your sparkling personality if you have not attracted him with your pretty picture. The fact is that internet dating is, at least initially, a superficial medium. You have to draw your target with an attractive, clear picture of yourself.
- Your profile is your calling card. Make yourself sound interesting and differentiate yourself from the herd.
- Create a pseudo e-mail for secondary contact. In other words, when a man with whom you are corresponding on an internet-site asks for your e-mail address, provide to him a web-based e-mail, rather than your home or work e-mail address. If you decide that he is too strange-for-words, you can simply discontinue communications without interrupting your regular communications.
- Do not release any personal information until and unless your internet date has proven trustworthy and safe. For the same reason, schedule your first meeting during the day-time, in a public location. Make sure you have an “escape plan” if the date is a disaster.
- Anticipate that your date will look different, probably worse, in real-life versus his picture. Occasionally, you may have a pleasant surprise when a date actually looks similar or even better than their posted picture.
- Be optimistic but realistic. There are women who successfully meet their boyfriend or husband on-line. However, enter the on-line dating scene with a conservative outlook.
- Consider the necessary qualities of the person you seek, and stipulate accordingly in your profile. For example, if smoking is an absolute deal-breaker, indicate accordingly, in your profile. You could indicate that you want a man who …leads a healthy lifestyleor simply be blunt and state no smokers need apply.
- Have a sense of humor. Always look on the bright side: Your nightmare-date could prove an entertaining story at your next get-together with friends.
- Watch your purse-strings. On-line dating can be expensive, depending upon which site you use, and what features you select. Paying on-line doesn’t seem like you’re spending real money. But you are spending money, and it can add up.
Above all else, keep your options open. Enjoy online dating, as it’s a great way to widen the scope of the persons you can meet. Remember, however, that you might meet Mr. Right anywhere, at any time. Therefore, participate in on-line dating with your eyes open, but don’t turn off your sexy wit when you go for dinner with your parents at that fancy Italian restaurant…. You might hit it off with that charming waiter, who is working his way through medical school!
Seven Essential Safety Tips for Online Dating Success
1. Guard Your Personal Information – Guarding your personal, sensitive information should be absolutely first and foremost on your agenda when it comes to online dating. Most internet dating sites are filled with “normal” people who are honestly looking for someone else – whether for casual dating or for a serious relationship that leads to marriage. However, there’s another set of people you should be concerned with who are in it for all of the wrong reasons and who’s intentions are anything but serious.
2. Create a Free Email Address – There are plenty of free email services to choose from so make an email address that’s exclusively for use for your adventures in online dating, at least until you’ve met someone you know you can completely trust. You don’t want messages from a jilted “e-date” to be clogging up your work inbox!
3. Choose a Reputable Service – There’s certainly no shortage of websites and services devoted to bringing people together romantically, so before you can start looking at other people’s profiles, you’ve got to choose a dating site that meets your needs. When you visit the various dating sites, be sure to thoroughly read their FAQ or Help pages before signing up for anything, and make certain you understand the membership fees, if any, as well as what their refund policies are.
4. Take Your Time – Time is of absolutely no concern in cyberspace. Don’t get so excited about meeting a potential profile match that you rush out and put a down payment on a house for the two of you. Take plenty of time to get to know someone before getting serious, or before taking the next steps forward toward a physical relationship.
5. Ask for Photos – Besides the obvious aspect of whether or not you’re physically attracted to someone, asking for a few photos also helps to gauge whether or not a person is being honest and seriously looking for a relationship of some sort – or if they’re someone merely prowling the internet for reasons that are usually best left unsaid. You’ll also want to make sure you’re getting pictures that are relatively recent and that you’re using recent ones in your own profile as well.
6. Using the Phone – After meeting someone online and chatting for a while, the next step is to exchange telephone numbers and see if the sparks are still flying through the phone’s wires. Talking on the telephone is a great way to learn about a person so be sure to make phone “meetings” a part of your online dating agenda before taking the relationship any further.
7. Follow Your Gut Instincts – Most people have an inbred sense of instinct, but whether or not we actually listen to that inner voice and heed its wise warnings is a completely different story. If something just doesn’t seem quite right to you, then chances are, it probably isn’t. Don’t make the mistake of second guessing yourself. Instead, learn to rely upon your natural instincts and listen when they’re trying to tell you something.